We are unhappy because we are too self-absorbed.
What does it mean to be too self-absorbed? Also, what exactly happens when we are too self-absorbed? We can be either in existence or inside ourselves – it is impossible to be in two places at the same time. Being inside yourself means to be on the curb, to be separated. Being inside yourself means to become an island. Being inside yourself means to draw a border around oneself. Being inside yourself means to distinguish between “this is me” and “this is not me.”
Defining a clear boundary between the “I” and “Not-I” is the essence of the Ego. The Ego isolates you. It freezes you up – you are no longer fluid. When you are fluid, the ego cannot exist. That is why most people have become almost like ice cubes. They have no warmth, no love – because love is warm, and they are afraid of love. If they welcome the warmth, they will begin to melt, and the boundaries will disappear. In love, borders disappear, in joy borders also disappear, because joy is not cold.
In our society, we are all taught, especially men, not to cry, not to show that we are in pain, and to put on a mask of courage. Women too can fall into this trap. All of us at one point or another can feel that the only way to survive is to hide our feelings and emotions so that we are not hurtby others ever again. If the pain is especially strong, we can try hiding it even from ourselves. This can make us frozen, tough, because deep down we know that one small crack in the ice cube will release the pain and it will begin circulating in us again.
The tears that are colored like rainbow on this man’s face there is the key to how to get out of this “ice-olation”.
Tears, and only tears, have the power to melt the ice. It's okay to cry. You never need to be ashamed of your tears. Crying helps us to let go of the pain, it allows us to be kinder to ourselves, and, in the end, it will help us to heal.